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My duck is dead

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Jadesmom
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« on: June 09, 2009, 09:13:11 am »

My Duck is Dead
 A woman brought a very limp duck into a Veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head Sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested.. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left The room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, The dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it Out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately Sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a Few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the Bill. "$150??" she cried, "$150 just to tell Me my duck is dead??" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
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 “My brother and sister birds, you should praise your Creator and always love him: He gave you feathers for clothes, wings to fly and all other things that you need. It is God who made you noble among all creatures, making your home in thin, pure air. Without sowing or reaping, you receive God’s guidance and protection.”
St. Francis of Assissi

My rescued and adopted feathered family...
Zebra Finches - The widow Mary Meeper & her new beau Joey Peepers, Leo and all the "kids"
The Quakes - Jade & Buddy & Ducky
"Sunday" Conure - Bella
Canary Wing Parakeets - Dexter and Morgan
The Budgies - Waldo, Wanda,  Pixie, and Violet
Fly high little Johnny Meeper  - flew to the Rainbow Bridge 1-6-2010

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Ditty
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« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2009, 11:39:33 am »

 ;D ;D :D
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BirdCrazy
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« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2009, 12:08:39 pm »

hehe ;D ;D
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thetim53
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« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2009, 01:12:00 pm »

Guess he didn't have AFLAC!   2funny.gif
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Asha, 12-year-old Blue Front Amazon
We reside in Georgia
" I may be gone now, but at least I did not die as a damn Yankee!"

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« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2009, 05:46:47 pm »

 :D knuppel2.gif
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looniebirds
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« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2009, 07:20:56 pm »

Maybe she should have taken him to a real Dr. instead of a Quack! 2funny.gif
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Jadesmom
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« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2009, 11:53:43 pm »

Oh loonie, you quack me up! ;D
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 “My brother and sister birds, you should praise your Creator and always love him: He gave you feathers for clothes, wings to fly and all other things that you need. It is God who made you noble among all creatures, making your home in thin, pure air. Without sowing or reaping, you receive God’s guidance and protection.”
St. Francis of Assissi

My rescued and adopted feathered family...
Zebra Finches - The widow Mary Meeper & her new beau Joey Peepers, Leo and all the "kids"
The Quakes - Jade & Buddy & Ducky
"Sunday" Conure - Bella
Canary Wing Parakeets - Dexter and Morgan
The Budgies - Waldo, Wanda,  Pixie, and Violet
Fly high little Johnny Meeper  - flew to the Rainbow Bridge 1-6-2010
sophiemae
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« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2009, 01:45:04 am »

Too funny...this reminds me of when I was teching and we had a Canada Goose in with a broken wing. The vet had decided to do surgery and pin the wing in hopes that he could be released back into the wild once healed. Well he had finished the repair and was about to put in the last of the sutures when the goose flat lined. This was my first experience with a goose that had flat lined. We started CPR, I was using the ambu bag and the vet was doing compressions. All of the sudden the goose started to honk after the first chest compression so I said "Doc, he's alive and honking! He's breathing again!" He looks at me, shakes his head and says "Jennifer, he's not honking. It's the air being pushed through with the compressions" Sadly the goose didn't make it. Though it wasn't funny at the time with the goose not making it. It became the inside joke in the office since I was so enthusiastic with my he's alive response. The question "hey, did you know a dead goose could honk?" was asked of me many a time, it took me forever to live that one down!
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Rachel: 10yr old Congo African Grey
Jimmy: 4yr old Peach Fronted Conure
The Three Stooges: 6mo old Zebra Finches
Crossroads: Unknown age Spangle Sky Blue Budgie
Chowder: 1yr old Opiliated Green Budgie
Georgette: 8yr old Black DMH Princess
Romeo: 2.5yr old White & Tan Siamese Mix
Home: Henderson, NV
Jadesmom
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« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2009, 08:52:23 am »

Well, did you read my post about the resident at work that died and the family wanted the coronor to pronounce her alive. We have a few jokes floating around about that one too!
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 “My brother and sister birds, you should praise your Creator and always love him: He gave you feathers for clothes, wings to fly and all other things that you need. It is God who made you noble among all creatures, making your home in thin, pure air. Without sowing or reaping, you receive God’s guidance and protection.”
St. Francis of Assissi

My rescued and adopted feathered family...
Zebra Finches - The widow Mary Meeper & her new beau Joey Peepers, Leo and all the "kids"
The Quakes - Jade & Buddy & Ducky
"Sunday" Conure - Bella
Canary Wing Parakeets - Dexter and Morgan
The Budgies - Waldo, Wanda,  Pixie, and Violet
Fly high little Johnny Meeper  - flew to the Rainbow Bridge 1-6-2010
sophiemae
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« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2009, 09:29:49 am »

Oh yeah, I remember you posting about that one!
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Rachel: 10yr old Congo African Grey
Jimmy: 4yr old Peach Fronted Conure
The Three Stooges: 6mo old Zebra Finches
Crossroads: Unknown age Spangle Sky Blue Budgie
Chowder: 1yr old Opiliated Green Budgie
Georgette: 8yr old Black DMH Princess
Romeo: 2.5yr old White & Tan Siamese Mix
Home: Henderson, NV
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