'I Love My Job

Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

~Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know,
my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of the year the water is quite cool. So what we
do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do when I get to the
bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down
the back of my wet suit.This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like a jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden my butt started
to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made it worse.
within a few seconds my a$$ started to burn. I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine
had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since
I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it,
however, the crack of my a$$ was not so fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my a$$.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I
aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty five minutes before I could reach the surface
to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface,
I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh*t for two days because my
ass was swollen shut! So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your a$$.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: Is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!