I don't know how to do this...

[sophiemae]

I got the call from my vets office today that Gus was back and his urn was ready to be picked up. My stomach immediately went into knots and remained that way. He is here at home now, but I can't bring myself to open the velvet bag that has "Until we meet again at the Rainbow Bridge" embroidered upon it. I know what's in there: a sympathy card, a cast pawprint of his, a lock of fur and the urn containing him, but I just can't do it. Has anyone gone through this before with bringing a beloved pet home in another form?

[BPMar]

   I can't even imagine, but soon will.  I am sure it is like experiencing it all over again.  It sounds beautiful what they did for him.  I have never heard of that before.  If I were able to I would be there with you in a minute!  You have us here for you.  You do have a place to come to for comfort and support over the phone.  I'm sorry I can't be there with you in person.
Another kitty I lost years ago, his name was Bugga.  I just woke up to find him.  He was great and would fetch a ball.  I buried him on a friends farm.  After all that I sat outside crying.  As I looked down into the grass, I found a four leaf clover.  I took that little clover like it was gold and put it in a frame with him.  It was a funny picture.  He was a large cat and he was in the bathroom sitting on the toilet and he looked like a pear!
Even though we know it gets easier to bear in time, at the moment it hurts like hell.  Just cry then grab a very fond memory of him or something he did that made you laugh and just hold onto that in your head.
I'm right by your side!!
 

[chance]

when I had to go pick up BraveHeart , I had so many emotions, one being I can't do this, I had my husband drive me there to get him,as I knew there would be no way I could drive after picking him up, I got there and the people handed me this tiny little urn,and my heart sank,I burst into tears and held onto that urn so tight, I have him home with me where he sits on my shelf with his picture and a angle statue watching over him.
Now in the morning I always go to him and give him a kiss and tell him I love him.  It was so very hard at first, but now He is home where he belongs,and when I need someone to talk to I go to Braveheart.
you can do this,It is hard now but soon you will find a sense of relief just knowing Gus is there with you in spirit.

[Jadesmom]

Oh Soph, I am so sorry for all your pain. Don't rush.....you have time. You will know when you are ready. No matter what, Gus is in your heart and will be forever, not matter where his earthly remains are, the important part is already living inside you. 

[Debz]

I started telling the story of my Pyewakitt, and couldn't finish.
Realizing that it still hurts to recall and would serve no purpose to add more sadness.   Jades make a very good point. I too have a tiny box. It sits on my night stand.  But Pye's spirit is not in there. She's on my lap as I go through email. She's weaving between my legs as I fix breakfast. She's Kitty zooming through out the house. She's playing hide and seek , and catch me if you can. She's grooming me between my eyebrows with that sandpaper tongue, purring like an old engine. * oh crap, got something in my eyes...
Anyway, no, you're not alone. And Gus is not in that box.

[zimbasmom]

Just take your time...and those are all beautiful stories ladies 

[lorek]

oh sophz i am sorry, you have received some wonderful advice already.  ::hug::

[plantsandbirds]

As others have very nicely said....our beloved friends never leave us. In time the earthly remains will be a comfort.  I know that sounds odd but I've found it to be true.  Whether you choose to create a special memorial garden in the Spring (I have one for my friends) or a corner in your home where you can sit and reflect..... it can be a comfort.  Time does heal.

 

[BPMar]

PB, Love the garden or even a plant idea.  I have heard or seen or even planting a tree but never associated it with our loss.   I will have sunflowers popping up everywhere!!!! 

[plantsandbirds]

I created a garden around my beloved Eddie dog, my heart Jack Russell.  He is buried beneath bleeding hearts and violets, and every year I add a plant to the garden...such as ferns and hosta and foxglove and woodland plants.   I have a bench for sitting and it's a nice spot.  Many of the indoor birdies are buried in that garden too and have little memorial stones. 

[zimbasmom]

My sister had a sugar glider for years and was crushed when she passed so my Mom painted on a stone as a memorial for her. It was right before they moved from Buffalo to Vegas and she buried Cleo in the yard but was able to take the stone with her and put that in her new garden so she feels like she is still with her.  :pray:

[wishforabird]

O God, as soon as I started reading this memories of Teddy flooded back.  The call came in and I looked at my husband, my look said: I couldn't do it, I could NOT bear to bring him hime like that.  He nodded in understanding and went to work.  I had to take my kids somewhere that day and when I came home, I froze in my tracks...there it was on the table.  It smelled like a cold fireplace in the room and the scent made my stomach turn becaue I knew why.  I couldn't go in the room with it for the whole day.  I waited until I had privacy, then I opened the box, and let the tears flow.  Big wrenching sobs poured out of what felt like my heart.  It was final now.  Once I cried it out, I felt "better".  Then when my children saw it later, I was weepy but it wasn't uncontrollable.  They couldn't believe he ws "in there" and I didn't explain he was creamated, too much for young kids.  we had a funeral, a real one, my husband touched me greatly when he came out in his sunday best and his confirmation Bible.  We walked out together to the yard silently, then every one got a chance to say a few words.  the hardest thing was placing him in the hole and covering it over.  But walking away, i actually felt better .  It gave me the start of healing closure. I can't explain it any other way.  Sure there were still nights when I would cry late at night, or some other dog would remind me of him and I would uncontrollably well up, but I felt it getting easier to bear.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, and THAT is saying something.


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[Jadesmom]

My little guinea pig Tim has been gone for years and I still miss that little horse face. We had a funeral for him, and we lived on the main road in town. Who cares what anybody thought. My son wrapped him in a small flag as Tim was an American, and we put pellets and alfalfa in his box as my kids had learned about the Egyptian pharaohs and wanted Tim to have some food for his trip to heaven. We have moved, but every time I pass that house, which is almost daily, I always say a little prayer for Tim and tell him I still love him.

[sophiemae]

I can't thank you girls enough for your words of encouragement and sharing such personal stories of your own loss, it means so much and has helped me better be prepared for the process.     
I went through everything in the middle of the night, it was hard and tears flowed but I felt much better after going through everything. There are pictures below of the memorial I have made for Gus. Everything you see there except the frames, flowers and ceramic cat was provided by the cremation service. I was so touched that they took so much time and care with someones pet. Though they did not know Gus or how much I loved him they still gave him the same love and respect I would have. I think every place should do this for the animals that come into thier care for cremation or burial, it really helps in the grieving process.

Jades, your right...Gus is not in the urn, he is with me all the time. I think he is already making sure to help me heal in his own way.

Wishy, that is such a beautiful marker for Teddy.

I can see just how much you all loved your babies  Thank you again for helping me through this 

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[Debz]

that is a beautiful  memorial.