Computer Skills!

[Sapphire]

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

Tech  support:   What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:    A  white one...
Tech  support:    Click  on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:    Your left or my left?
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Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find  printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
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Tech  support:   What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me!
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Customer: My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech  support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't  get behind the computer.
Tech  support:   Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: !   OK
Tech support: Did the  keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:   Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:   Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
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Tech  support:   What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
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Customer:    I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support:   How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:   OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
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This one and the next are our personal favorites!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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And last but not least!
Tech  support: 'Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program  Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech  support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

[Pea]

 

[Debra]

  Those are great!

[steptoe91(tozie)]

   sounds like some of MY customers. 

[Nakia]

  Oh for Heaven's Sakes!! And to think~~my son Jory was worried he couldn't tell me how to copy & paste over the phone when I first became a *Cyber Queen*! 

I do love the last two, but there are some gems in that group!!